I really do know nowt

I'm struggling.

Not in any physical sense but with finding the words to express my thoughts. Nothing new then!
I've tried for two evenings to type something that makes sense, here goes with third time lucky.

I feel almost doomed to a life of going backwards with my equestrianism! Not backwards in the sense of 'backing up' but backwards in the very real sense of diminishing skill!!
It started years ago and seems to show no signs of arresting or even taking a break. IT IS TRUE, paradoxically, the more you learn the less you know. Each box I open reveals at least a dozen more boxes that I will have to open and each of these will hold their own dozen mysteries to be revealed. Exponential growth charts aside, this will mean more boxes to open than I have years to live.
I'm not sad about this. In fact it makes me weirdly content to know that my work with horses will never be done. Searching is what gets me moving, motivates me. Discoveries make it all worth while.

I've been searching for Moo since we started work over a year ago. Of course the years before that I didn't know I hadn't found him. The last few weeks I've found more and more of the boy and in the main by doing very little...less really is more then.

Walking up the hill to the yard with him a week or so ago I realised what a joy he is to be with. He's light in my hand and takes note of all  I ask, he never rushes, never stops and rarely has even a tiny spook. Half way up the hill I had the urge to unhook him and just 'see', so I did. Well he just stopped in his tracks then turned round and went back about a meter to find some juicy grass and got his head down and tucked in, LOL. Now given I devote a lot of hours in the day to thinking, you can imagine that this really got me thinking. I won't bore you with the process (thank god they say) but since then I've gone right back to some basic liberty stuff with him.
I did a little liberty work with Fidge and it's almost all I've done with Chapsi so why haven't I done any with Moo? Well it's really very simple! Every time I've ever unclipped him in the school he's gone off to roll, bucked and played but never shown any real interest in coming to work with me (the boy has sense!!) we have done some liberty but it just didn't really work...in-hand yes and even the single rein driving thing he was brilliant at but given the choice he obviously rather wander off without me. Then recently a clicker training lady on EE said I could clicker train Chapsi to have more concentration when he got tense and so I've been playing with this. Finally the penny drops and I'm having some really good fun with Moo doing some basic liberty work.

Phew, well at least I got started tonight, I think it's going to be a very long process because I've come to realise that maybe this is where I should have started all along.